What can make a good parent?
A good parent is someone who strives to make choices in the best interest of the kid.
What makes a fantastic parent isn't only identified by the parent 's actions, but also the intention of theirs.
A good parent does not have to be ideal. Nobody is perfect. No child is ideal either … keeping this in mind is essential when we set the expectations of ours.
Successful parenting isn't about achieving perfection. But it doesn't imply that we shouldn't work to that goal. Set very high standards for ourselves first and then the children of ours second. We serve as role models that are important for them.
Top Ten Parenting Tips
Here are 10 tips for a terrific parenting experience, including the way to avoid bad parenting, and be a much better parent.
They aren't all that simple or fast.
And probably nobody can do them constantly.
Even though some of these might not be 100 % successful, you'll be able to move forward using the tips in this parenting guide.
#1 BE A good Role MODEL
Walk the walk. Don't just tell your child what you want them to do.
The best way to teach is showing them.
Human is an unique species in part since we are able to learn by imitation. We're programmed to copy others' actions, understand them, and incorporate them into our own. Children, particularly, watch everything the parents of theirs do very thoroughly.
Thus, be the person you want your child to be - respect your kid, demonstrate to them good behavior and attitude, have empathy towards your child's emotion - and your kid will follow suit.
#2: Love THEM And Show Through ACTION
Demonstrate your love.
There is simply no such thing as loving the child of yours a lot of. Loving them cannot spoil them.
Just what you decide to do (or give) in the name of love can - things as material indulgence, low expectation, leniency, and over-protection. When these things are provided in place of love that is real, that's when you'll have a spoiled kid.
To love your child may be as easy as giving them hugs, spending quality time with them, having family meals together, and hearing your child's problems seriously.
Showing these acts of love is able to trigger the release of feel-good hormones like oxytocin. These neurochemicals can provide us a full sense of calm, emotional warmth, and contentment; from these, the kid, will develop resilience and also never to mention a closer connection with you.
#3: Practice Kind And Firm POSITIVE PARENTING
Infants are born with around 100 billion brain cells (neurons) with comparatively few connections. These connections create the thoughts of ours, drive the actions of ours, shape our personalities, and essentially determine who we're. They are created, strengthened, and "sculpted" through life experiences.
Give your child positive family interaction, especially in the early years. They'll then be able to see positive experiences themselves and also provide them to others.
But if you give your child negative experiences, they will not have the development type needed for them to thrive.
Sing that silly song. Have a tickle marathon. Go on the park. Laugh with the child of yours. Give them positive attention. Ride with an emotional tantrum with them. Solve an issue together with an optimistic attitude.
These positive experiences produce good neural connections into your child's brain and create the memories individuals that your child carries for life.
With regards to discipline, it appears to be difficult to remain positive, especially when dealing with behavior issues. But it is possible by utilizing positive discipline and avoiding harsh discipline.
Being a good parent means you have to teach the child of yours the morals of what's right and what is wrong.
Setting limits and being constant is the golden rule to discipline that is good. Be kind and firm when you establish rules and enforce them. Concentrate on the reason for the child's misbehavior. And make it an opportunity for them to find out for the future in a positive way, instead of to get punished for the past.
#4: Be a Safe HAVEN FOR The CHILD of yours
Tey letting the child of yours know that you'll always be there for them if it is responsive to your child's signals and sensitive to their needs. Support and accept the child of yours as a person. Be a safe and warm place for your child to explore from and return to.
Children raised by parents who are consistently responsive have much better psychological regulation development, social skills development, and mental health outcomes.
#5: Talk with The CHILD of yours And Help THEIR BRAINS INTEGRATE
Many of us already know the value of communication. Talk to the child of yours and also listen to them thoroughly. By keeping an open line of communication, you will have a much better relationship with the child of yours as well as your child will come for you when there is a problem.
But there's another reason behind communication. You help your kid integrate different parts of the brain of theirs, a crucial process in a child's development.
Integration is akin to the body of ours, in which different organs must coordinate and work in concert to have a healthy body. When different regions of the brain are integrated, they can work harmoniously as a whole, meaning fewer tantrums, much more good behavior, much more empathy, and better psychological well-being.
To accomplish that, conversation through troubling experiences. Ask your child to describe what happened and how they felt to develop attuned communication.
You do not need to provide solutions. You don't need to have all the answers to be an excellent parent. Just listening to them talk. Ask clarifying questions using simple words are going to help them make sense of their experiences and integrate the memories of theirs.
#6: Reflect on Your own CHILDHOOD
Many of us wish to parent differently from the parents of ours. Even people who had a good upbringing and a happy childhood might wish to alter some aspects of the way they had been brought up.
But very often, when we open our mouths, we speak the same as the own parents of ours did.
Reflecting on our own childhood is a step towards understanding the reason we parent how we do. Make note of things you'd like to change and think of just how you would do it differently in a genuine scenario. Attempt to be mindful and change your behavior next time those issues come up.
Don't give up in case you don't succeed at first. It will take practice, lots of practice to consciously alter one 's child-rearing strategies.
#7: Pay attention to Your personal WELL-BEING
Parents require relief too.
Give consideration to your own well-being to prevent parental burnout.
Oftentimes, things including your own needs or maybe the overall health of your marriage are placed on the back burner when a child is born. When you don't pay attention to them, they are going to become bigger problems down the road. Make time to strengthen the relationship of yours with the spouse of yours.
Stressed-out parents are more vulnerable to fighting. Don't hesitate to ask for parenting assistance. Having some "me time" for self care and stress management is important to revitalize the mind.
How parents take proper care of their child physically and mentally can make a big difference in the parenting of theirs and family life. If these two areas fail, the child of yours will suffer, also.
#8: Don't SPANK, NO MATTER WHAT
Undoubtedly, to some parents, spanking is able to bring about short-term compliance which occasionally is a much-needed help for the parents.
However, this method doesn't teach the kid right from wrong. It only teaches the child to fear outside consequences. The child will be motivated to stay away from getting caught with inappropriate behavior.
Spanking the child of yours is modeling to your child that he/she is able to resolve issues by violence. A child who is spanked, smacked, or hit is much more vulnerable to fighting with other children. They're much more likely to become bullies and also to use verbal/physical aggression to solve disputes.
Later in daily life, they're also more apt to lead to delinquency and oppositional behavior, even worse parent child relationships, mental health issues, along with domestic violence victims or even abusers.
You will find a variety of better options to discipline which have been proven to be more effective, such as positive discipline (Tip #3 above positive reinforcement and).
#9: Keep Things In Perspective And remember YOUR PARENTING GOAL
What is your goal in raising a child?
When you are like the majority of parents, you would like your child to do well in school, be productive, be independent and responsible, be respectful, enjoy good associations along with you and some, be caring and compassionate, and have a happy, healthy and fulfilling life.
But how much time do you spend working towards those goals?
If you're like most parents, you probably spend most of the time just trying to get through the day. As authors, Bryson and Siegel, point out in the book of theirs, The Whole Brain kid, rather than helping your child thrive, you spend most of time just trying to survive!
To not let the survival mode dominate your life, next time you feel angry or frustrated, step back. Think about what anger and frustration will do for you or your child.
Rather, look for ways to switch each negative experience into a learning opportunity for them. Even epic tantrums can be turned into invaluable brain sculpting moments in case you concentrate on teaching the child of yours, not trying to control them.
#10: Take a SHORTCUT By utilizing Findings In Latest PSYCHOLOGY And NEUROSCIENCE RESEARCH
By shortcuts, I don't mean shortchanging https://parentinghowto.com/ the child of yours with tricks. What I mean is taking advantage of what's already known by scientists.
Parenting is one of the most researched fields in psychology. Lots of parenting strategies, traditions, or practices have been scientifically researched, refined, verified, or refuted.
For optimum parenting advice for raising a kid and info that are backed by science, here's among my favorite science-based parenting guides, The Science of Parenting.
Making use of scientific knowledge is of course not a one-size-fits-all approach. Every child is different. Quite possibly within the very best parenting style, there can be a variety of good parenting practices you could choose based on your child's temperament.
A good example is employing spanking to discipline. You will find many better alternatives, e.g. redirection, reasoning, time-in, etc. You are able to choose a non-punitive discipline method that works ideal for your child.
Naturally, you can also decide to use "traditional" or maybe "old school" parenting styles (e.g. punishing or spanking) and also may still buy a "similar" outcome.
Differential susceptibility has shown us that kids with different temperaments respond to the quality of parenting differently.
Those who are more vulnerable to parenting quality is going to have better outcomes under great parenting but worse outcomes under poor parenting.
Those who are much less susceptible may "turn out fine" regardless of how tough their parents treat them. Though it doesn't imply those practices are good. These children are simply fortunate. They can thrive despite poor parenting, not because of it.
Why take a possibility with sub-par parenting practices if you can use well-researched, better ones?
The value of parenting can't be underestimated. Taking science-based parental advice might not be the easiest way to parent. It might require more work on your part in the temporary but can save you lots of agony and time in the long run.
Final Thoughts On Parenting
The good point is, that although parenting is hard, it is additionally very rewarding. The bad part is the rewards typically come much later than the hard work. But in case we try our best now, we will ultimately reap the rewards and have nothing to regret.
To Happy Parenting!